"WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE...."

Here is another poem that I've written............ which is self-explanatory

(I think)
maybe some of you can identify with this. If so, let's hear from you! even if you can't relate - let's hear from you too!

Read this post until the very end - because I've added a post-script that might explain this a little.

When I was a little girl,
My mother sang this song to me;
"Whatever Will Be, Will Be"

But even so,
how was I to know
that she would go
and give me away
on what should have been my very special wedding day.

But - she gripped my arm,
and led me down the aisle,
to my destiny; --- crying inside, I forced a smile.
I was docile.
My parents ruled.
So, into wifehood
and motherhood
I joined........for a little while.
~~~~~~~~~
The above poem was written by me, late at night, after my marriage ended; during a pity party that I held for myself. (after a few drinks, I become very poetic)

I'll tell you briefly how it came about that I stood under that Chupa.
Going out on a date was not even considered; This was Williamsburg, and the procedure was that the parents of the boy and the parents of the girl would first meet and discuss. The mother of the boy might want to check out the girl to see if she's pretty enough for her "Tachshit", so she would go and take a glimpse of the girl, where she worked, or wherever.
The father of the girl, of course needed to find out if this bochor knows how to learn. He would appear at the boy's yeshiva, observe him (undercover) and sometimes - even go to the mikva in the morning when the boy went, just to see that he doesn't have an unpleasant physical form. ( I am not kidding. I know about a case like this)
Anyway, if all went well so far, then the next step was the "b'show"..........and this is how it goes. The boy and his parents come to the girl's house, the girl is introduced to the boy, and the two sets of parents adjourn to another room, to give "the couple" some private time to converse. (and to decide in one hour whether they want to spend a lifetime with each other) So..they all arrived, and the two sets of parents went to another room to give us that wonderful "privacy" :-( I mean, I could hear them breathing heavily, trying to catch every word we said. We talked for an hour and a half - I could see that he was already planning what to buy me for our 50th wedding anniversary, but I was certainly not on the same page. After they left, my father turned to me and said, "NU?" and I shook my head N O, no, no, no. My father started ranting and raving, "Nobody is good enough for you, yadda, yadda. And he ran to the phone to call my uncle, whom he consulted about every little thing. Did I mention that at this time ( at the ripe old age of seventeen) I had seen two other boys, and refused both of them. This was the third boy.....three strikes and you're out! My father wasn't having any of my nonsense, and he was very vocal about his displeasure. After much drama and trauma, just to get them off my case, I agreed to see the boy one more time. The parents (my-future in-laws) and the boy, (the father of my children) came over for a second viewing of the merchandise, (ahem) same scene - different day.....Repeat histrionics after they left. My father threatened, my mother cajoled, my uncle explained that love comes after marriage (yeah, sure, and there IS a tooth fairy too) There was no getting out of this, unless I wanted to leave home, and strike out for myself. It was NOT done to go against your parents. Cut to the chase, I caved in. Because I knew that if it wasn't this one, it would be another one just like him. My parents wanted something for their children that was entirely different than what I wanted for my future. All through the months of my engagement, I cried. Every day I cried. I begged them to let me break the engagement; here's what the answer to that one is - It's a big sin to break an engagement - it is less of a sin to get married and then get divorced.

Are you with me so far?

And that, folks, is how I came to be a Mrs. ( I DID get divorced a few years and a few children later - and the only wonderful thing to come out of that marriage are my children, who are my life and joy)
What do you think of that?

PS... Don't think too harshly of my parents. They loved me then, and they love me now.

Maybe the following poem that I wrote a while ago, will help you understand;

~~ ~~

I was three

when America was shown to me.

My parents,

changed forever by devastation,

that ultimately caused their relocation.

No mothers left,

No fathers.

No brothers or sisters.

Gone - the life they knew.

They had to start anew.

There were so few

Why?

And How?

To raise again a family,

Hashem - give them the strength......