All The Lonely People..........

Beauty.......or....The Beast?

I ran into an old friend of mine today. I hadn't seen her in quite a while. She and I started talking about the good old days, and we caught each other up on our respective lives. While I had remarried, she had divorced and is now living with her two young children and trying to cope with the loneliness. Yes - she's busy - she has to work in order to pay the rent and the tuitions, but once the homework is done, the dishes washed and the children sleeping, the remote control and a gin and tonic are the only company she has.

Oh, of course she has many friends. They are always inviting her for a shabbos meal, to their simchas, etc. But - they have their own little families. Their own lives. And so - she is lonely.

What to do?

There are so many lonely people in the world; so many lonely people in New York; so many lonely people in Brooklyn. EACH DIVORCE CREATES TWO MORE LONELY PEOPLE. How do they cope? How do they go about the arduous task of trying to connect with that special someone, that "soul mate" that they've been yearning for? That something that was missing in the marriage that they just abandoned?

Many people are happy to be alone; they cherish their independence, and as far as friendship, they feel no lack. They have no wish to be saddled once again with that albatross they call marriage. As a friend of mine once said to me, (he's happily divorced) "Marriage is an institution and I have no wish to be institutionalized." So - for those folks, it's a good life.

But -"Man is not an island" and most singles are looking to meet someone and again try to be part of a couple. When everything else fails, many turn to the internet. For the orthodox, there are a variety of sites that promise happiness. Frumster and JDate are 2 of those.

HOW DOES ONE KNOW WHO IS BEHIND THE COMPUTER SCREEN THAT IS SENDING THOSE E-MAILS WHICH SET THE HEART RACING? IS IT BEAUTY? OR IS IT THE BEAST?

Well, dear readers, my friend had some very interesting experiences on those sites. Here is what happened.

She eagerly signed up on Frumster, polished up her profile and was very honest about what she wrote. She gave her correct age, number of children, etc. She got many replies and many photos were e-mailed to her. She got excited. Oh how fabulous. Life was going to be good again. So many men, so hard to choose. Well, she selected candidate number one and started an e-relationship that quickly blossomed into promises until a date was set for a visual - face to face. On a Saturday night. A babysitter was arranged, a new outfit purchased, she treated herself to a facial and a manicure to ensure that she look her best.

Ah! - - the doorbell rings. He's here!! She opens the door...........Wha.....what is this? is this a teenager selling cookies for school? Oh no, dear readers, this is her date! He finds it amusing to meet women online. Not girls, oh no - he wants a W.O.M.A.N. with no inhibitions.......someone who's been there and done that, and he's hoping will do it to him!! After a few minutes of awkward conversation (on her part - after all, he was ready) she closed the door, removed her makeup and new dress, put on her p.j's and settled in with a pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia and an old movie on TV. (complete with tears in abundance)

This is what she told me. She also told me about the date that showed up and did headstands in her living room to show her how fit he was.

And the one who had to leave at 10 pm. because he was in a halfway house and had a curfew

(geez - he forgot to mention that on his profile)

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice

in the church where a wedding has been

Lives in a dream

Waits at the window, wearing the face

that she keeps in a jar by the door

Who is it for

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

Father McKenzie, writing the words

of a sermon that no one will hear

No one comes near

Look at him working, darning his socks

in the night when there's nobody there

What does he care

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby, died in the church

and was buried along with her name

Nobody came

Father McKenzie, wiping the dirt

from his hands as he walks from the grave

No one was saved

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

Do you know someone who is alone? A friend that you've been meaning to invite, but were always so busy..... a neighbor who sits at her window and watches as your family sits around the shabbos table singing z'miros?

How can we help?? We must help!

Any thoughts on this? Let's share them and maybe, just maybe, at least one lonely heart will feel lighter....