BEAUTY OR THE BEAST REVISITED - ON A LIGHTER NOTE!
It's Motzei Shabbos, and I thought - let's have some fun with this; But guys & gals - make no mistake about it --- it's still a serious topic (only not tonight)
Setting: Boy and friend on one side of stage
Girl and friend on other side of stage :
Girl and friend on other side of stage :
both sit in front of computer screens in their homes.
Boys side of table
B :Hey Jared Dude- take a look at this girl's picture on JDating Website, dude she is a total babe!!
J: Like Dude, she is a beautiful baby- totally send her an email dude, and let's go hit the keg, at that Jewish frat party
B: Totally Dude, but what should I write her? I mean she's a total hottie.
J: Dude - just say - wasssup baby how about you and I take a ride on the Jewish car of love.
B: Dude you're a genius:
Dear (looks closer) "Fraydie613,"
J: Fraydie?
B: Yeah dude. Dear Fraydie613, you are certainly the sweetest thing on the internet. Do you want to take a ride in my jewish love car, there is nothing to be afraid of.
(both laugh) heheheh------------------------------
B :Hey Jared Dude- take a look at this girl's picture on JDating Website, dude she is a total babe!!
J: Like Dude, she is a beautiful baby- totally send her an email dude, and let's go hit the keg, at that Jewish frat party
B: Totally Dude, but what should I write her? I mean she's a total hottie.
J: Dude - just say - wasssup baby how about you and I take a ride on the Jewish car of love.
B: Dude you're a genius:
Dear (looks closer) "Fraydie613,"
J: Fraydie?
B: Yeah dude. Dear Fraydie613, you are certainly the sweetest thing on the internet. Do you want to take a ride in my jewish love car, there is nothing to be afraid of.
(both laugh) heheheh------------------------------
Girls side of table
F: Shani Shani! come quick, Boruch Hashem, I finally received an electronic message from that dating website your aunt put my picture on, I am so excited I may just have to put on my shabbos suit and finish all of tehillim.
S: OH fraiyde - I am so happy for you! Perhaps, bezras Hashem this could perhaps be your..... Bashert
F: Shani!
S: Whoopsy, Knanine Hurah!
F: Thats more like it Shani.
S: So, nu, what did this shtark boy have to say?
F: Well, he first called me very sweet, and asked me for a date, in his car! He said there was nothing to be afraid of. Such a Yiras Shamayim!!
S: He is perfect!
F: Wait till you see his picture. here, isn't he cute?
S: Oy veh! (she turns away) he is not wearing a shirt! Where are his tztizis? And no kippah!
F: Hello! Earth to Shani – isn't it obvious?
S: No.
F: it is a picture from the mikvah!! He's obviously very frum.
S: Fraydie - you are so right - dan l'kaf zechus.
F: (typing) Dear Brian, I certainly think you are sweet too and I would love to take a ride with you in your fancy car
S: Maybe you should ask him how frum he is?
F: Oh, You are right Shani (typing). Also do you want your wife to wear pants? Cause I do not wear pants.Let me know. Toodles. Fraydie
F: Hello! Earth to Shani – isn't it obvious?
S: No.
F: it is a picture from the mikvah!! He's obviously very frum.
S: Fraydie - you are so right - dan l'kaf zechus.
F: (typing) Dear Brian, I certainly think you are sweet too and I would love to take a ride with you in your fancy car
S: Maybe you should ask him how frum he is?
F: Oh, You are right Shani (typing). Also do you want your wife to wear pants? Cause I do not wear pants.Let me know. Toodles. Fraydie
Back to Guys Side
B: Dude -
J: Yeah dude
B: Fraydie wrote back. I am the luckiest man alive!
J: Why Dude?
B: Read this, she doesn't wear pants! Dude
J: Huh?
B: Nothing Dude! She's a free spirit. Probably walks around without pants everywhere!
J: You are the Luckiest dude alive
B: (typing) Dear Fraydie, I'd like to meet you...As Soon As Humanly Possible. I've always dreamed of meeting a girl who doesn't wear pants. I give you credit – that's very bold of you. What other items of clothing do you not wear? Do you get cold? Where does someone like you like to go on dates? -Brian
F: Dear Brian. I will never wear a short skirt, and I can't stand tank tops or anything that is too tight. In my opinion, it is all disgusting. Where should we go? I feel a hotel lobby is always quickest and easiest -Fraydie
B: DUDE!
J: DUDE!
B: She wants me to take her straight to a hotel!
J DUDE!
B: This Internet dating website is amazing!
J: Ask her if she has a favorite hotel, you know.
B: ok: (types) Which Hotel?-----
F: My Rebbi and my father always tell me to go to the Marriot. It's the most public of the hotels, that way people can see us, watch us. And we'll have no problem of it being just us, you know,
and no problem of yichud.
B: DUDE
J: DUDE
B: This is getting weird. Her dad and Rabbi told her what hotel to use! And she's not interested in it just being alone - this girl maybe too much for me to handle! And she mentioned someone named Yichud? Who is that?
J: Dude, I have no idea, but I like what I'm hearing...
B: Dude, maybe she doesn't wear pants either!
J: DUDE!
B: (typing) Dear Fraydie - the Marriot sounds good to me - and as far as I'm concerned, I like the sound of Yichud already! I'll make sure to bring my friend along. - Brian
F: Dear Brian, this is really sounding great. It's nice to know you are so frum that you would like to bring a friend along to not have a problem with yichud. You are very sweet and very frum, and I feel
we already are connecting in ways I can only dream about. Let's go out tonight if possible. The more I think about it the more I feel - this really could be Bashert!!!
B: Dear Fraydie, I'm totally excited for this! In fact, a dude like myself has spent years dreaming of a night like this. Who knew Internet Dating could be so amazing. Send me your address asap and I'll be at your place with my friend Jared tonite at 8pm. So, no problem with Yichud. We'll head straight to the Marriot. My treat. No pants would be fantastic. This is really gonna be amazing. I can really feel it. Oh, and one last thing .......
....... Who is Bashert, and does she need a date too?
posted by Margaritagirrl @ 1:24 AM
15 comments
15 Comments:
Thanks, YM........
I needed to get out of the serious mode a little.
Gut Vuch!
fantastico
killabendel,
Duuuuuuuuduuue! Hey, I am totally so sorry, Duuuuuude! thanks for the correction.
outdid yourself
even the kvetcher is flabbergasted
Rebbele said...
"outdid yourself
even the kvetcher is flabbergasted"
Really?? Thanks - I thought it was time for a break from the heavy stuff - we all need a laugh sometime!
Hieseyidene,
I don't know if you are a new reader to my blog, but if you had read my posts, starting from the very first one, you would have seen that when I write a poem that is my own, I say so. I have posted songs that are not mine, but readers enjoy it because I tie it up with the issue that I'm posting about.
In other words. I only claim credit for my own work. Each article that I've written is an original thought of my own and written entirely by me. DID YOU SEE ANYWHERE ON THIS PIECE THAT I HAVE CLAIMED TO BE THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR? No - you couldn't have seen it, because I did not say so.
To clarify for you, since you are so quick to condemn; I had seen this humorous piece on jewish internet dating several times making the rounds on e-mail. This week, once again, I saw it on the Hashkafa site. It appeared as is, with no author to give credit to, and I wrote it, because it tied in with my last post about JDate, Frumster, etc.
Do you preface every e-joke that you send to your friends with the comment that "you didn't make it up yourself?"
Hmmmm???
Ok, Ok chill. It is still a great piece. I think I may need to remember it before I jump into the next date!
Post script to Hieseyidene,
In my blog about my grandmother, where I had written a poem, I also included the story of The Ritual Bath. Had you taken the time, you would have read that I gave credit to the publication that I took it from.
This is so funny, and completely original too. Keep up the good writing.
What's going on??
I leave for the evening, have a couple of margaritas, come home and find only 2 new comments?!?
C'mon guys - you can do better than that!
Write to me - Tell me what you think of Hieseyidene's accusations!!
That's precisely why I had to numb myself with my favorite drink - WITH salt on the rim - and LIME.........and with a good friend to enjoy it with.
Dudes and Dudettes.... I wish you all a good night.....
flabbergasted ?????
that really happened to me.
MG how did you find out?
by the way i would have taken her to the Golden Gate.
Kvetch,
If you would have taken anyone to the Golden Gate Motel, the WHOLE WORLD would have known about it!
HI MG,
I JUST RECIEVED THIS VIA EMAIL AND THOUGHT YOUR BLOG MIGHT BE A GOOD PLACE TO PUBLICIZE IT.
HERE IT IS VERBATIM.
THANKS
Please only call the # below do not email me
There are available locally two Jewish boys (brothers 7 and a half and
9 and
a half. ) pref. We would like to see them placed together but if has to
be
they could be adopted separately.
They are now wardens of the state and the state was so kind to give us
1
month as of last night 2:30 am to place them in a Jewish home. If not
they
will be placed by in to non Jewish homes.
(posted by Haya Hava Shulman)
My cell number is 917 681 5189. We do this as a chessed so please help
us
do that chessed to two Yiddishe neshamot.
Hoezentragerin,
Thank you SO much. I am going to e-mail this to 2 people that are very interested in adopting.
Maybe we can have a part in this mitzvah. I really appreciate your thinking of my blog for this. I hope that there will be a happy ending here.
"tizku L'mitzvohs"
This piece reminds me of the skit that is popular at shabbatons and camps: where two guys get a call, one about a wedding and one about a funeral, and they meet on the train and a funny dialogue ensues as they asume the other is going to the same event they're attending. Anyone know what I'm referring to?
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