Thursday, June 16, 2005

MIKVAH - A MITZVOH TO CHERISH. In memory of my grandmother. Her yartzeit is today.


GRANDMOTHER (written by me - for my Babi)

Mother of my mother
Who’s name I bear;
You died so young
You were among
6 million innocents
Why?
What did they do?

I never heard you speak
Or felt your hand upon my cheek.
All gone
Why?
What could my ancestors have done
To cause this monstrous situation.
They went about their little lives
Bothered no one
But still, they did not survive
To hold a grandchild on their lap
To share a hug, a laugh, a pat.
Why?
What did they do?
Am I right?
Is life cruel?
Or
Is there a reason…..
But I do not have the answer yet.

THE RITUAL BATH

In the Bochnia ghetto, there came a day, when the German troops marched in and decided that a mass killing was the sport they wanted to engage in. Among the people caught that day were an especially large number of young women. These women knew full well what would happen to them. They discussed something among themselves and selected a spokeswoman. She was a very attractive young woman in her early twenties. She walked over to the German officer in charge, and said; “We know the inevitable. You will murder us as you murdered the other innocent Jews before us. We demand that you grant us our last wish.” “Granted,” snapped the German as his hand lovingly caressed his pistol. “And what is it, may I ask?” he said in a derisive tone. “We demand that the ritual bath house, closed since your occupation of our town, be reopened, heated, and cleaned, and that we be permitted to take our ritual bath of purification,” said the young woman.
For more than half a day the women cleaned the ritual bath house and filled it with water. Then they cleaned themselves and immersed themselves in water as prescribed in the Laws of Purification.
As they were led off to be shot, the German officer asked for the young lady who had approached him. He said: “You are a filthy race, the source of all disease and vermin in Europe. Suddenly, before your death, you wish to be clean. What spell did you cast in that ritual bath house of yours?”
“Cleanliness and purity of body and mind are part of our tradition and way of life. God has brought our pure souls into this world, in the pure homes of our parents, and we wish to return in purity to our Father in Heaven.”
The German officer took out his pistol from his holster and at close range shot the woman between the eyes. Most of the other women were also killed that day.
(from the book, “Hasidic Tales of the Holocaust”)

Today is the Yartzeit of my grandmother, who I never met, and whom I am named after. She was among these brave women, who held on until the bitter end, with faith and emunah never leaving her. I won’t tell you all the stories, I’m sure you’ve heard many hair-raising tales, of what our brave ancestors did in the name of yiddishkiet and in the face of this brutality

How do you think the present generation would have acted, felt, forfeited for, honored the religion which we hold so dear? We have heard many stories, this is only a small example. Do you think we would have stood fast? WOULD YOU HAVE STOOD FAST?
In our easy day and age, when the mikva (the ritual bath) is made so accessible, ( and so attractively laid out) don’t we find it an inconvenience sometimes? Nail polish must go off, so much time spent when we could be doing other things, embarrassment sometimes, not wanting to be seen there by others. And on and on and on.
I want to dedicate this to the memory of my grandmother, and I would like to hear your thoughts, your family experiences, your feelings about this. Please comment; let’s hear your thoughts – all kidding aside, kvetcher, cynic, etc. I love you, but; "For everything there is a time... A time to laugh, a time to cry...A time to be serious and reflect"

77 Comments:

At 9:03 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

may her neshomah have a emesdika aliyah and she should be a meiletz yoshor for all of us. omien

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

you see MG cynic and I can be nice. but you just wait for your next post.

 
At 9:20 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

to cynic,
No, she was not from Munkacs....from Romania. What made you think Muncacs?

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Kvetch....
You can't resist, can you???
OK - now we'll be serious, at least for a few minutes, and on the next post, you can bash me all you want!

 
At 9:34 PM, Blogger Anonymous said...

Beautiful post...
Its important to keep in mind the mesiras nefesh our ancestors did this mitzvah with... in whatever situation they were...

Thanks for the insight.

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Thank you for such a beautiful poem you wrote to honor your grandmother, and for such a heartwrenching story about the ritual bath.

I would like to think that us Jews today would have the stamina and strength of conviction to stand up for those principles of honor to our name. In some ways I do not think this generation here in the United States has the stamina to stand up to such acts of cruelity and intolerance.We seem so weak, in so many ways. In Israel, on the other hand, we see Jews who must fight each and every day to defend the Jewish state and the rights of our people.

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger Also A Chussid said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 9:53 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

cynic,
What a special person your father must have been. Not to eat treif for 2 years....very few were able to achieve that level.
Your mother is alive now? ....remember to always hug her and love her (even when she annoys the hell out of you!)
ANYBODY WHO SURVIVED THAT HELL SHOULD BE HONORED.

 
At 9:55 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Cynic,
Were the Munkacs also taken on Shevuos? In my grandmothers town, they were rounded up on the second day of Shevuos.

 
At 9:57 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Barbara from California,
Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting.
Yes, isn't it something to think about? I wonder if we would be strong enough in the face of this terror, or how many would have given up. We are a softer generation.

 
At 9:59 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Shevy,
Are you new to my blog? Welcome, and thank you for your thoughts.

 
At 9:59 PM, Blogger Also A Chussid said...

Would our generation be able to rebuild the way our grandparents did?? I often wonder about that myself. Every time I talk to my grandfather and he tells me all these horror stories yet came out a believer, I go away immersed in deep thought, if this would ever happen to our generation would we be able to continue they way post world war two generation did. Its all speculation but I must say that numerous Jews didn’t stay religious. So many of them became fri. It was only a very few that didn’t waiver and it was only because you had very temimesdigeh rabunim and giants in their own way that we were able to rebuild. If this would ever happen again (which is a topic of it own. Can it happen again? I think yes.) I think there is a good chance that yes we would be able to rebuild. Me myself, I can’t see myself loosing my whole family yet come out as religious as my grandpa.

See my post on this topic

Would we go to the slaughter holding our emuneh the way our great grandparents did? The answer is yes. Our grand parents didn’t have a choice the only thing left for them was to die in dignity. Had it happened to me yes I would’ve defied all the decrees against our religion. I would’ve become like the gerrer boys the matessyunik’s - the way they were called. When one is faced with no choice and THE only way is death… yes I would’ve stood up for my religion. I think the Jews that survived and still remained stead fast in the emuneh should be commended.

Cynic,

Most Hungarian Jews were slaughtered around shevues time.

 
At 10:09 PM, Blogger Anonymous said...

Yes, MG, I just started reading your blog and its AMAZING! I don't know how I missed it! I also added my 2 cents to your "sex and the city" post.

The issue just maddens me. I knew about it, but everytime I read that their solution is restricting the youth even more.......brrr.. I just get mad. When will the revelation hit that this is EXACTLY the problem. Too many restrictions, with noo explanations. Too many chumras, without knowing what the halacha is..

I'll just end it here, wihtout hijacking your blog with my shtussim and anger!

Some more of my notions on that post itself. Looking forward to more great posts from you!

 
At 10:17 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

cynic could you explain?

 
At 10:17 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

cynic said...
"my mother once told me i survived
hitler to have u, u are worse than hitler."

GIVE ME YOUR MOTHER'S PHONE NUMBER, MISTER!!!

 
At 10:20 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

to Also a Chussid,
Thanks for pointing me toward your post of your grandfather.

 
At 10:53 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

cynic,
this is a terrible burden to bear, and you know that no one was worse than Hitler(it pains me to even write his name) having exterminated 6 million of our people. How they must have sufferred and endurred gives me strength in those most difficult of all possible moments. Actually, I have read and written book reviews about the Holocaust for a Jewish publication. Each story, standing alone, has its own tale of strength and survival.

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

chalaya,

If I may ask, is the conspiracy theory of your husband something that he really believes? I am curious, as I have known others to have these theories as well, and sometimes they are based on real fears, and others seem to be products of their own individual thoughts.

 
At 8:19 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Chayala...I wouldn't rule anything out, and your husband has a point. ANYTHING can happen, yes right now, and right here, in these wonderful modern times, with the cellphones, the computers, the "eqaulity" of the races and religions.......my mother told me that in Europe people also scoffed when they first heard rumors of what was happening. "Never, will it happen to us - these are modern times," they said. AND THEN IT HAPPENED!
My mother said that after 9/11 she couldn't go out of her house for 2 weeks. THE SMELL OF BURNING BODIES! My parents live in Williamsburg, the bridge is so close that she swore she smelled the burning flesh....she had renewed nightmares after 9/11, smelling the same smells as of the crematoriam.
What horrible times they lived through!

 
At 8:26 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

T.A.U.B,
When I was growing up, my parents also never ever spoke about it. Only when we were adults, was it brought out.
Looking back, I see the sacrifices they made for us, they never complained, they never told us to shut up when we said, I need this, I want that, buy me, give me.....they just tried the best they could. Of course, they didn't have parents to call on the phone and cry to (like I do) they didn't have a mother who would babysit so that they could go out in the evening, (so they stayed home, but did not complain) they didn't have parents to go to for yomtov, ( so they made yomtov at home always and never complained about it)
Sometimes, I look at my parents and think of their youth, and my heart aches for them. They had no youth.

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

killabendel,
Yes, I wonder what it feels like to have a Babi and a Zeidi. I always tell my children how lucky they are. When I get testy with them, or won't give in to something, they get on the phone to Babi and zeidi.....grandparents are for hugging and not judging, for kisses and spoiling (a little) a safe place to go to, when the pressures of home seem too much. JUST CALL BABI AND SHE'LL BUY THE TOY, SHE'LL BAKE THE FAVORITE CAKE, SHE'LL TELL YOU STORIES AT BEDTIME, SHE'LL MAKE YOU HOMEMADE FRENCH FRIES, SPECIAL BREAKFASTS... yes, something we never had, something so precious that we can never have, no matter what we try to substitute it with.

 
At 8:54 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

I hate to say it, or admit it, but I really think that if this horror would happen in today's times --- many of us, would buckle under. Many would let go of their emunah.
Also a Chussid pointed out correctly that even then, so many people became frei. So many times I see older people who came from such choshive families, and because of the war, they say "HOW CAN THERE BE A GOD IF THIS IS WHAT HE DID, IF HE LET THIS HAPPEN" so they either leave the religion because they stopped believing in Him, or they might still believe that there is a god, but they are ANGRY at Him for what He did. Just remember, all of you.........love your parents and grandparents; they may not be the parents or grandparents of story books, but they are precious! The hell they lived through, and still managed to raise families, cook the daily dinners (all the while remembering when they had nothing to eat, when finding a potato peel was joy unlimited) they still managed to go out to work, to attend simchas, to do all the small things......

 
At 9:01 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

killabendel,
what is your e-mail address? I'd like to ask something.

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

"many of us, would buckle under. Many would let go of their emunah.
Also a Chussid pointed out correctly that even then, so many people became frei. So many times I see older people who came from such choshive families, and because of the war, they say "HOW CAN THERE BE A GOD IF THIS IS WHAT HE DID, IF HE LET THIS HAPPEN"

I think if it would happen today, many of us would finally find the excuse we have been looking for to stop believing and practicing.

I am GOd forbid never going to judge any of those survivors who turned away, but I do have the feeling that many of them weren't too strong in their convictions even before evil struck.

Keep in mind MG, that the vast majority of the Kedoshim were no longer frum.

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger SemGirl said...

A very beautiful post. I can't wait to go the mikva. Actually, I can't wait for what comes after the mikva.

 
At 12:34 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

SEMGIRL; AFTER YOU START GOING LET US KNOW IF YOU ARE SO ENTHUSED TO GO EVERY MONTH? TALK TO ANY MARRIED WOMAN AND SEE IF SHE ENJOYS GOING. WHAT HAPPENS AFTERWARDS IS ANOTHER STORY

 
At 1:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

MG, I gotta say -U made me cry! My grandparents are/were survivors. To say they deserve our tremendous respect & utmost admiration for what they've gone through and their ability to start over would be an understatement! We all know many war stories, but how often do we think of what happened after? My grandfather was in his mid-teens & had no family left at all. A few years later he found 1 brother only to lose him again when he went of to Israel & became fri (in his defense, he was about 11-12 yrs old w/ no guidance!) Where do u go? How do u survive??? O.K, I can't write between my tears anymore.
MG, great post-it's nice to put things into perspective once in a while, I going to finish making Shabbos in my gorgeous new kitchen, with more food then I need, While I talk to my mother on the phone & tell her how much I love her even thought many times we don't see eye to eye! Gotta go!

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Margaritagirrl said...
that's life,
aw geez, your comment meant so much to me! If I can affect just one life, even in a very small way, the whole blogging business is worth it!
So - tell your mother you love her, and realize again and again how much you have - a brand new kitchen? More than enough food? How good is Hashem to us! What empathy we must show to those who went through the holocaust. They could only dream of preparing shabbos meals, we can do it, and many times we complain...too much work to do, too much cooking, etc. I do that too.........
I want you to know - even now, when my mother and I are at a simcha, a wedding, etc. and she sees the waiters scooping up half eaten, non-eaten dishes into the trash, she says she can't look at it - it hurts her heart...to remember the starvation they went through every day, and how much we take for granted and throw out.

 
At 3:11 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

NOT STAAM IF YOU WERE MY NEIGHBOR IN EUROPE I WOULD HAVE TURNED YOU IN EVEN IF IT WASNT TO SAVE MYSELF.

 
At 3:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi,
i am 30 and a holocust victim.
you may ask how?
i will tell you how
my grandparents went through auswitz.
so my parents had a rough youth.
so i had a rough youth
when will the cycle stop?

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger LostSpirit said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 4:46 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

LostSpirit,
I have such similar feelings! My mother was cold to us physically, although she was always there for us and her love showed through in different ways. I asked her a few years ago, how come she didn't hug and kiss me as a little girl, and I was called by a nickname - not my real name. She said that when I was born, and named after her mother, it was very hard for her to deal with. The memories of her mother, and entire family that she lost (7 brothers and sisters - one brother survived) haunted her and she had nightmares....she still does, but not so frequently.
My parents have an interesting Holocaust fear still today. When a letter comes from the city, or maybe a violation for sanitation, anything that speaks of government; my father gets hysterical. He calls me up right away, faxes me the mail he got, and worries that someone (I don't know who) will come after him........they still think that they might get arrested for something......
Anyone else have a similar story?

 
At 4:48 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Why do you suppose this caused our parents to be so harsh with us?
Wouldn't you think that maybe it would work the opposite? That they survived and had children, wouldn't they want to hug and spoil those children and shield them from any unhappiness?
I wonder.............

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

holocost victim,
Yes I can see that the cycle continues and maybe OUR generation can mend it. We ARE closer to our children, we listen to them more, we give of ourselves more, if a child exhibits signs of emotional unrest, we take them for therapy (it's not such a "shanda" as it used to be)
So, maybe this is our job?
Let's do it well, and just promise ourselves to let go and finally forgive our parents. G-D knows how we would have managed it......

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

jsirpicco, killabendel,

Their generation's spirit was broken and as a result, so was ours. A lot of us are carrying around alot of anger, hurt, low self-esteem (because we didn't get encouragement and praise from parents)
It's a very sad situation...........

 
At 6:44 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

ghetto,
Although it's in a sad way, I'm glad that I got you to thinking........
imagine - if we had grandparents and extended family. How different we would have turned out. How much more love we would have recieved as children........and our parents suffered so much - and to their credit, they never said anything while we were young. THEY DID NOT COMPLAIN. Am I speaking for everyone here? Was that your experience?

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

"imagine - if we had grandparents and extended family. How different we would have turned out. How much more love we would have recieved as children......."

MG, my parents were born right after the war.
I was lucky enough to grow up with grandparents and extended family.(I still have a Babi that I love dearly.)
And trust me, things weren't that rosy either, to put it mildly.
So while yes, every child deserves to have grandparents while growing up, they don't necessarily guaranty a happy loving childhood either!

 
At 2:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 2:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

MG: Could you please delete my post (the last one to this) if possible? I didn't mean to put my name up there....

 
At 8:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

when the satmar rebbe was leaving eretz yisroel for america his chassidim asked " rebbe who will we go to for guidence?" the rebbe replied find any one with numbers on their arm and who puts on tefillin every day. that will be the one to go to."

 
At 10:45 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Hoezentragerin,
Were your grandparents in Europe at the time of the war? or
Did they grow up in America?
You are right, of course.
Having grandparents doesn't ensure a happy childhood. So many other things contribute.
But - I wonder - why do ALL of us have such negative memories and experience of our childhoods?
I always attributed it the fact that holocaust survivors were left with such emotional scars that they simply didn't have it in them to do more than they did. And the harsh way they disciplined was also a subconscious way of thinking "you don't like your new dress? I NEVER had a new dress? You don't like what I made you for dinner? I was lucky if I EVER GOT DINNER! and so on.
What do you think?

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Kiki,
Thanks for sharing your memories and experiences.
Would I have been able to stand up to a german officer and demand mikva? I even shudder to think that I would be in such a situation.
The people who refused food that was not kosher, the people that tried to sneak a sidur, t'fillin, etc to daven, the people who collected a bit of oil, a carved out potato, and strings from their prison uniforms in order to light chanuka candles - WHAT CAN I SAY? TZADIKIM! I'm nowhere close to that, and can't even imagine the sacrifices that they made. And this is AFTER they knew that all their relatives, their little babies, their old grandparents, had been killed. Even then, the faith didn't waver.
Of course, as HT pointed out, the majority of jews were already assimilated, but the small and wonderful chasidim of Hashem, were a sacrifice for us all. Times are so different now. We have it so much easier, and yet, and yet.....we complain about the hassle of it all. kosher food is more expensive, Pesach cleaning is a drag, Yom Kippur is too long, we can't fast for 24 hours, imagine what our ancestors had to endure!
The generation is getting weaker and weaker. Where will it end?

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Cynic and Kvetcher,
You've been SO, SO good - Everyone on the blog applauds you!!

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

It's all hitlers fault,

I agree .........IT CAN HAPPEN AGAIN!! My parents keep telling me that at the time right before the deportations, people who had been to the big cities, came to the little villages and reported the atrocities, and the villagers laughed and said, "It's impossible - it can't be true - we are living in modern times. Nonsense"
and then............

 
At 11:24 AM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

all work and no plat makes cynic and kvetcher dull boys

 
At 12:09 PM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

"Were your grandparents in Europe at the time of the war? or
Did they grow up in America?"

My grandparents too were holocaust survivors. (Hungarian)
I don't think I'm that much younger than you, but I and most of my friends did grow up with grandparents and extended family.

"why do ALL of us have such negative memories and experience of our childhoods?"

I think because "tough love" was the rule in those days, and Midas Hadin was the zeitgeist.

 
At 12:16 PM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

Just a thought MG,
Are you SO sure that our children won't remember their childhood in a negative light?
Are you convinced they won't blame us for many of their issues and faults?
Don't you think that to some degree our attitude is part and parcel of human nature?

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING TO CHANGE THE VICIOUS CYCLE.
ARE WE MORE LOVING TO OUR CHILDREN THAN OUR PARENTS WERE TO US? CAN WE GIVE THEM MORE ROPE ON THE LEASH? CAN WE AFFORD TO GIVE THEM MORE TOYS, TRIPS CLOTHES. THIS WOULD BE ANOTHER POST IN ITSELF.
BUT IF WE CONDITION THEM FOR ADVERSITY ARE WE DOING THEM A FAVOR? IF WE SPOIL THEM ARE WE DOING A DISSERVICE?

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

CYNIC: WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO WRITE? THOSE ARE SUCH BIG WORDS.

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

yiddishe mamme,
Over and over, we hear such heartrending stories. Every person who went through this, has a book inside them.
Reading your comments literally gave me goosebumps.
Do our children appreciate the bounty that they have? Do they appreciate our sacrifies for them?
NO - they always need more, fancier car, new homes, every luxury in the world is a "neccesity" to them!
It makes me so angry. They should stop and think how lucky they are, and to be happy with everything they have.
Wouldn't our grandparents have been the happiest ever, to have a decent pair of shoes, eat a good meal, be able to go and visit a relative?????
ALL OF THESE THINGS WERE TAKEN FROM THEM. And yet - THEY are the ones who do not "want", they do not "need" - our children are being spoiled. There has to be a middle road.

 
At 1:28 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Hoezentragerin,
True - no matter how we parent, and with how much love and giving of ourselves, our children will blame us for their "issues"....aren't all the shrinks re enforcing the "IT'S ALL THE MOTHER'S FAULT?"

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

CYNIC; YOU CAN ALSO HUG YOUR PARENTS NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY TO YOU. THE LOVE THEY HAVE FOR YOU IS STILL UNCONDITIONAL.

I OFTEN WONDER IF WE ARE TRULY SECOND GEN VICTIMS CAN WE GET REPARATIONS?

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Cynic

"in the final analysis it dosent alleviate our responsibilities to our children.
for our sakee and the sake of our children lets HUG them. "

OF COURSE, LET'S HUG THEM AND LOVE THEM, OF COURSE WE SHOULD NOT SHIRK OUR RESPONSIBILITIES TO OUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN. WE DON'T DO THAT (most of us don't) But - the fact remains, that whatever we do, and no matter how much love and attention we shower on them, they will STILL lay the blame on our shoulders for insecurites, low self esteem, and whatever else draws them into therapy.

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

AT WHAT POINT DO WE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OURSELVES. I BLAME MY PARENTS FOR STUFF. BUT I CANT BLAME MY PARENTS FOR WHAT I DO TO SCREW UP MY KIDS CAN I?

 
At 2:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you forgot to mention the fact that she was probably raped before he shot her... that's wehat the Germans did to most Jewish woman and girls before killing them

 
At 4:39 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

to anonymous,
I was quoting from a story in a book about the holocaust, so I copied it exactly as written. (I put that in at the bottom of the story - givng credit where it was due)
I know that many young girls were raped before being killed, but since I didn't know that for a fact in this case, I couldn't put it in.
But YES - unfortunately, they had to suffer this terrible indignity too.

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Cynic said,

"the children with their velvet,knitted,and satin kippahs are the living testimony to our survival"

One hundred percent correct!! Did anyone see the movie "A Life Apart?" The scene of the Bobover tisch, with all the hundreds and hundreds of chasidim. I cried to see that and said to myself, Fuck you Hitler, take a look and see that you couldn't destroy us, we rebuilt, and NOBODY will destroy us. We are here, we believe, and we ain't goin' nowhere! (with Hashem's help, of course)

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

cynic said...
"mg
wow a four letter word
almost as bad as saying work in lakewood"

SORRY - I WAS FULLY AWARE THAT I USED THIS 4 LETTER WORD, BUT I FELT IT WAS APPROPRIATE JUST THIS ONE TIME.

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

cynic: you say the children with their velvet knitted kippahs are the testimony of our survival.

Let me ask you. I am a Jew, according to Halacha, both Mo. and Fa. are Jewish, and a Bat Kohan. Am I less of a Jew than you or anyone here, or in the eyes of hashem?

 
At 3:11 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

You are making lots of faulty, speculative assumptions about me. One thing I am noticing, however, and you are proving it along with cynic is that you who claim to be so self-rightous and frum are exluding me much more than I do you. You have become angry, mean, nasty, and even said that G-d likes you better. Tell me, who is the more righous Jew? One who turns his back on another of his kind, and one who insults, throws barbs, is mean-spirited, and makes faulty assumptions, one one who is kind, accepting and loving? You tell me, because so far, you are not setting a good example.

 
At 3:12 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

and now you delete the comment to which I respond....this is so strange, and not very honest.

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

MG,

these comments are not directed towards you, please be clear. Notsomaguy had responded in rather heated terms, and my comments are for him and cynic's silence.

Sorry to take up so many comments here, but I wanted to be clear.

 
At 9:38 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Barbara says,
"Tell me, who is the more righous Jew? One who turns his back on another of his kind, and one who insults, throws barbs, is mean-spirited, and makes faulty assumptions, one one who is kind, accepting and loving? You tell me, because so far, you are not setting a good example."
Barbara, there is another kind of jew - it's not between these 2 extremes. A good jew knows that we have accepted the torah with its 613 mitzvos and we work hard to fulfil them. We daven 3 times a day, we keep shabbos, we eat kosher, we give charity. We have organizations to help the indigent in our community.
We do not simply say, "I am jewish, so give me the respect because I am a kind person. Of course kindness and goodness of heart are part of it, but only part. We do not call ourselves good jews and then go for a lobster dinner on a Friday night. It's not easy being an observant jew. There are many hardships and many things that we have to give up in order to keep all the laws of our orthodoxy. Of course, it goes without saying that we should always do so with kindness and courtesy to all people and not only those who do as we do.

 
At 11:10 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

MG and chayala,

Thank you both for being kind to answer this question.

I agree in the sense that following the 613 mitzvot and being observant will define someone as an observant,or Orthodox Jew, which goes without saying.

The other day, when I was commentng on sholmy's site, someone said that G-d liked the Chasidim better. It made me think: what does it mean to be a Jew,and does G-d favor those who are more observant over those who are not?
I still do not have the answer to this question and have thought about it alot.

But one thing is certain if the question is asked in a different way: what we do, favors G-d, and some of us show, by our words, deeds and actions that we honor Him more than others. It is not really about us, it seems, and in the end, based upon the principles of kol israel, we are all responsbile for each other in one form or another.

Sorry to have taken space on your blog to ponder this provocative question. Have a good week.

 
At 11:21 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

BARBARA........if you remember, I wrote on Kvetch's blog,
"but my sons, with the curly peyos get the looks and the snickers."
and you responded
Barbara from California said...
Your illustration about your sons makes me remember my own babi from my childhood. Until her death, in the late 1980s, she dressed like she had just walked away from a village in Kiev, Russia. I remember all of my friends from high school, making fun of her,

So, Barbara, you yourself, are admitting that you and your friends ridiculed us, because of the way we dress. Is that how a "good jew" acts?

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

My friends made fun of her, but not our family. She was very observant and we were taught from an earily age, that we never should make fun of another Jew. Other Jews who mock those with black hats, or turn their backs on others who are different are wrong, period. What I have found, however, is that more often than not, some of the Chasidim are more likely to turn their backs on me than vice versa. Be that as it may, I have never made fun of them, nor put them down, nor called them names, nor acted in a mean-spirited harsh way. If you look at the posts from the other day, despite people telling me to leave, I don't belong, go to Britnay and Madona, who are not Jewish, crawl up with lesbians, etc., etc., I did not make any harsh remark nor insult towards another Jew. Many insults, however, were hurled at me, making me feel beaten up. I do not throw in anyone's face that I am better than anyone, because, again, this is not what I was taught. What about you?

 
At 11:41 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Barbara,
I cannot take responsibilty for what some immature and not very understanding people have told you on various blogs. Reading what you say about how terribly they acted makes me angry.
I would NEVER say that to you, or to anyone.
You are a good person, I can sense that from your writing. And it is totally insensitive of anyone who hurled insults at you.
On behalf of those "jews" who insulted you, please accept MY apologies. My blog is to inform, as well as amuse, and to get feedback, both serious and lighthearted from my fellow bloggers. You are always welcome on my blog, Barbara.
MG

 
At 1:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your thoughts have made me reflect on my own family that have perished. I too have never had the opportunity to know my grandparetsn. Boruch Hashem that our children are lucky. Will they ever realize just how lucky they really are? We must talk of the past, we must remember and teach our children.
mlj - dogs in the yard

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

to anon-mlj

I'm glad that I got so many people thinking about the holocaust, the families they lost and the horrors that our parents went through; when we have a short fuse with our mother's meandering way - just remember how she fought to stay alive; if your father is lecturing endlessly, just nod, show your love and remember his courage and strength.
My mother tells me lately that she has a fear that soon this will be forgotten, the next generation will know less than we do, and it will filter down, until it becomes just something for the history books. We can't let that happen; it's up to US to NEVER FORGET and to make sure that our children and grandchildren will know and pass it down.

 
At 9:00 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

FOOD FOR THOUGHT; SHOULD JEWS DRIVE GERMAN CARS?

 
At 8:37 AM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Should Jews buy any Swiss products?

In that country there is still TODAY a real issue regarding Holocaust victims and their familes and their bank accounts, as well as other property confisgated by Swiss banks.

 
At 11:09 AM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

true barb, i dont eat swiss cheese.

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

My husband adamantly refuses to buy German, and when he sees chasidim driving German cars, (and the one that Hitler was chauffered around in) he gets more than angry; that ESPECIALLY chasidim are doing so.
I went to Poland a few years back to the gravesites of many tzadikim, and especially to the Noam Elimelech of Lizensck, and my mother warned me, over and over, "don't spend a penny in that country, the Polish were the worst beasts" and I did not spend anything there.
Swiss is also an issue. I was in St. Moritz and I did spend there; but I hope that I would not do so again,

 
At 11:38 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

thekvetcher ,
Kvetch, don't be such a "Muenster" about the swiss cheese.......

 
At 12:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Margarita, you got a real nice post going this time. Kudos.

I have always thought that today’s generation, if faced with adversity of the magnitude of WWII, will never survive, H”Y. In the generation of instant gratification and lack of perseverance, there seems to be no other way of survival other than miraculous. This perspective has all changed, however, once I’ve been introduced to the work of the great psychiatrist/psychologist, Viktor Frankl. I will not go into all the details of his theories and beliefs, which were comprised mainly on the behavior of people he obsereved in the death camps. I will give you a quote of his as a key-hole into his fabulous world of teachings.

•“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

oyveyismeernisht quotes Viktor Frankl...

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”

This is such a beautiful quote! I'm stunned by its simple yet powerful words!
Thank you so much for posting this comment - which needs no explanation........

 
At 8:41 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

cynic,
The Swiss did not directly committ genocide...They just covered it up, profited from it, and gave the Jews a very difficult time when they made an attempt to recover their property and bank accounts after the war.

If you are interested, I can give you a list of books on the Role of the Swiss Banks during the Holocaust.

For your information, I buy nothing from Switzerland.

 

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