Thursday, July 07, 2005

IS THE GRASS ALWAYS GREENER?


Sometimes it certainly looks that way.
Many times there is no cure for a marriage that has died…a marriage that is “flat-lined” and cannot be resuscitated. No therapist, rav, or marriage counselor has been able to help revive the relationship; In a marriage like that, you might have to “pull the plug”. A divorce is certainly a painful experience. For the husband. For the wife. For the children. For parents. Divorce should always be the last option. After everything else has been exhausted.

Sometimes you don’t give a damn if the neighbor’s lawn is greener than yours.
The only thing is……...…you’d like to have a nice lawn too!!

A divorce gives one a second chance to find a partner for life who is truly a “soul mate”. With the right partner one can do anything, be anything, say anything……..They simply connect!! The value of such a connection is priceless. They are 2 halves of one whole.

It’s wise to remember the following song, and then review
what
you DO have; what you MIGHT HAVE, is something good that is
lost and can be found again.
~~~
I was tired of my lady,
We'd been together too long.
Like a worn-out recording,
of a favorite song.
So while she lay there sleeping,
I read the paper in bed,
And in the personal columns,
There was this letter I read:
"If you like Pina Coladas,
And getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga,
If you have half a brain.
if you'd like making love at midnight,
in the dunes on the Cape,
Then I'm the love that you've looked for,
write to me and escape."
I didn't think about my lady,
I know that sounds kind of mean.
But me and my old lady,
have fallen into the same old dull routine.
So I wrote to the paper,
took out a personal ad.
And though I'm nobody's poet,
I thought it wasn't half bad.
"Yes I like Pina Coladas,
and getting caught in the rain.
I'm not much into health food,
I am into champagne.
I've got to meet you by tomorrow, noon,
and cut through all this red-tape.
At a bar called O'Malley's,
Where we'll plan our escape."
So I waited with high hopes,
and she walked in the place.
I knew her smile in an instant,
I knew the curve of her face.
It was my own lovely lady,
and she said, "Oh it's you".
Then we laughed for a moment,
and I said, "I never knew.
That you like Pina Coladas,
getting caught in the rain.
And the feel of the ocean,
and the taste of champagne.
If you'd like making love at midnight,
In the dunes of the Cape.
You're the lady I've looked for,
Come with me and escape"..........
~~~
My mother always says,*
" Before you buy new - see if you can repair the old"
What do you bloggers think? Any experiences? any stories?

52 Comments:

At 9:21 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

mg my grass is dying i water it every day the gardener keeps putting down fertilizer but the sun is burning it up every sunday i go to home depot and buy more sprinkler parts and fittings and all the chazerie. some days i see the new seeds sprouting but others i just want a big freakin patio.

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger Moishe said...

The vast majority of divorced people I know look back and realize they are happier now. Life is too short to not find the right mate.

 
At 10:50 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Sometimes, you do find what you've lost, right in your own backyard.........but sometimes, you have to strike out and try for a chance at happiness.

 
At 12:34 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

jsirpicco said
"Shalom Bayis box, people. I'm telling you that's the way to start...I'm selling them on ebay!"

YOU'RE DEFINITELY ON TO SOMETHING BIG!! IT'S A GREAT IDEA....HOW MUCH ARE THEY GOING FOR??

 
At 8:37 AM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

jsirpico: they call me thekvetcher because i'm trying to squeeze into the tight tee shirt. too many G & T's.:)

 
At 9:07 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

chayala,
You're a very lucky person, d'you know that? To have caught whatever it was that was making you so unhappy, to work on it, probably together with your husband, and to find the joy and comfort of knowing that you really have alot!
A question; if it's too personal, just tell me "back off" - Did your husband totally understand you, support you and work it through together with you? Sounds like he cared alot, wanted to make you happy, and wanted a happy home WITH you in it.
Any advice for others?

 
At 9:09 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

jsirpicco,
What a great way to start my day!
A compliment from a blogger that I find very intelligent, combined with a great sense of humor.
Thanks :-))

 
At 10:14 AM, Blogger Anonymous said...

I hate those phrases
"The second time is usually worse" and the like. That is NO reason to stay in a marriage. The phrase is based on no self-confidence in making a good judgement call whether a person you meet is right for you.

Sometimes 2 people are just not compatible. Whether to stay in a marriage because of your kids is an entire subject in itself....

Yes, you can learn to communicate, adn get along, but you can never have a deep connection.

 
At 5:49 PM, Blogger Dan Eisenberg said...

Some great rabbi gave my wife and I advice before we got married. "If two people are truely committed to each other, there is no problem that can stand in their way. After getting through shanarishona, we started listening to his advice and it is emmes. The problem in mariage is when either one or neither spouse is fully committed to solving the problem

 
At 6:27 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

hey bi femme dont you have a pussy to lick get the hell out of here if you cant be nice and compasionate to people of sorrow then dont come here. no one judges youe bizzare lifestyle. you cant even be nice on your blog we ask questions and you trEAT US LIKE THE PLAGUE. GO AWAY THIS BLOG IS FULL OF PEOPLE THAT ARE AN ESTABLISHED FAMILY OF FRIENDS WE DONT NEED YOU STICKING YOUR TONGUE WHERE IT DONT BELONG LEAVE IT TO YOUR CLUB SHIKSAAS

 
At 6:44 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Oh My G-D!!!
Have I opened a "Pandora's Box" or something??
jsirpicco - you're ONE of my favorites for sure.....I'm not telling who the other one(s) are.........
So what's the deal?
Stay in a nothing marriage?
Leave and try for the jackpot?
hmmmm?

 
At 7:50 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

JewishBiFemme said...
LOL LOL LOL...
Fine I won't bother you people....
Margeritagirl I am sorry good luck in life you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY? WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU'LL LEAVE??
C'MON - EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN WAY OF DEALING WITH LIFE. I, FOR ONE, WELCOME YOU HERE ANY TIME!
GOOD SHABBOS

 
At 9:53 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

yiddishe mamma ; sorry to use those words in front of you.

 
At 10:19 PM, Blogger BasTorah said...

The grass will always be greener, you just need to apreciate your green grass. It doesn't say that your grass is not green or a nice shade of green.

There will always be someeone who has more, better, nicer than you. If you look with those green eyes.
Change your glasses and look at yourself and see what makes you happy and not what is going on elsewhere.

First work on your marriage. Strive for a happy and healthy...if it doesn't work, then leave expecting nothing. Expecting that you will be happier on your own with no one to help you. Do not expect that you will find someone better...you may or you may not.
Just think it through.

 
At 11:10 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

MG,

I hope you had a good Shabbos.

I saw your post on kvetch's blog about uncle buddy, and some comments you made in the form of assumptions about my life. First of all, you know nothing about me, whether my life has been carefree, filled with pain, suffering, or heartache. Just because I am not a frum Jew, you seem to think that I am ignoring the religion. This is far from true, and makes me feel judged by someone who knows nothing about me.

I can tell you something that has changed, however, since going on all of your blogsites. With the exception of ClooJew, Rockofgallie and to some extent normaljew, I have felt unwelcome, even by yourself, making me feel LESS not more like being committed to my people. I don't buy this we will beat you into guilt, and make you feel terrible, so stay business, as this is unhealthy for me, or anyone, personally.

The reason I wrote the Bad Boys of Boro Park was in reaction to kvetch posting about my son and what he had done, or not done in Israel, again making assumptions about what we are about.

To me, the principles of Kol Israel are not truly practiced by many of you from Boro Park. Rather than taking care of us, we are judged, condemned and made to feel unwelcome as set forth by bifemmeJew and barefoot jewess. I do not expect to teach anyone here anything that is meaningful from my perspective, but to at least let my voice be heard to another woman.

Frankly, from how you describe yourself, and my limited interactions with you, I think you are a good person, a good Jew, and loving mother to your children. I wish you and your family many nachas, and hope for all good to come to you.

I will not be posting on any of your blogs anymore.

 
At 11:30 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

our prayers are answered

 
At 12:18 AM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

JewishBitchFemme,

I too echo YMs and Kvecher's sentiments.
We, the regular commenters on this wonderful blog, have all the assets and the same hot stuff you've got.
But we've got something you and your perverted groupies notable seem to be lacking;
Brains.
Please don't defile this blog with your cum and pee.
Thank You

 
At 1:01 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Barbara,
Sorry you feel this way, but I believe that you are totally wrong in your assesment of us "BAD OR GOOD BOYS OR GIRLS IN BORO PARK"
I think you said you were a lawyer? As an attorney you should know to read both sides of every page, make sure you have full knowledge of your case from every aspect. And Barbara, this you did not do!
I think that no matter how many times we try to explain the difference between your brand of "jewish love" and our absolute devotion and observance, in EVERY area of thee religion, you simply don't get it!
Maybe we aren't as educated as you are, maybe we don't possess the language skills that you do, maybe we come across as somewhat crude, (and I apologize for that) but there is a world of difference between us.

 
At 1:07 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

BasTorah,
If my grass was just a little bit "green" I wouldn't be so sad. what about when it's totally dead??
not greenery to be found anywhere?

 
At 1:20 AM, Blogger LostSpirit said...

My god that story is so funny and sad in the same time.
Divorce sure can give a good second chance, and the fact that some times even second time round it does not work is sure no excuse for not trying. But my question is if a marriage that is just “flat-lined” but not unbearable in any way and there are kids in it. Is there a justification for dissolving such a marriage? From one side we are all entitled to try and find those great connections you talk about and trying our best in finding happiness by finding that sole mate. But on the other hand with divorce being such a stigma in our world can we justify inflecting that upon our kids for the sake of our own searching?

I think one of the greatest fallings in frum unions is communication; the reasons for it many but predominantly is the fact that having started so young there is no real foundation for it. As well as nobody ever told us that we are two equals in this union, one of the earliest thing boys learn in chader in the gamorh is that a women is better off being with anyone rather then being alone, that a man needs a women to be azer kanagdo (a helper), and that we have to get married by 20 if not god says tipach atzmosev (his bones should rot) plus many other tit bits that are put in to our heads. So who ever told us that the most beautiful thing in marriage is love, equality, respect, being 1 but still maintaining individuality, openness? And all the other important things about marriage. As fiddle on the roof so famously asked; Love? Love? Since when does a marriage need love?

And by the time one of the partners wake up to this it is most times so off track and so many years of negative luggage that it is most times too late to fix it.

 
At 1:37 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Lost Spirit says....
"And by the time one of the partners wake up to this it is most times so off track and so many years of negative luggage that it is most times too late to fix it."
BUT LOST, IF ONE OF THE PARTNERS WAKES UP TO THIS, WHY IS IT TOO LATE TO FIX IT, OR GET OUT AND FIND A TRUE SOUL MATE?
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR LOVE, IS IT?

 
At 4:09 AM, Blogger LostSpirit said...

Well firstly it takes 2 to tango and in many cases there is to much mistrust and varies other hurts that are just to much for both or one of the partners to over come, as well as either or both of them might be so stuck up in there cosy life they have created that they are not willing to rock the boat.
As off getting out, that’s I my question if its not unbearable but there is just nothing there can divorce be justified if it will affect the kids. But it sure is never to late for love.

 
At 5:20 AM, Blogger LostSpirit said...

Btw just noticed your link to me is “Why can't I look in the mirror?” can you please when you get a moment change it to LostSpirit

 
At 8:36 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

lost,
I'll change the link.........

 
At 8:46 AM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

it's another Sunday morning, time to readjust the sprinklers. if anyone speaks to Shloimy, i have a shailah. can i leave the automatic sprinkler control on over shabbos. i dont want the grass to get scorched.


hoezy:: you go girl!!!!!!!
i love a good machlokes

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

who said anything about being frum?
as a matter of fact Barbara assumed we were frum, the only person that said they were frum was the lesbian. to tell you the truth the more i blog i wonder if frum got lost in the midbar. but HEIMISHE, thats a different story.

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

MG,

To answer your question you posted on my blog, I have never claimed to be shomar shabbos. I light candles, have shabbath dinner with my family, pray. But I drive, use the computer, talk on the phone, etc.

Another change I have made. I used to receive each and every day from Chabbad the Tanya, Daily Reflections and Mitzvah of the day. As of this last Wednesday, I have had them remove me from their email lists. I have also told them to take me off their list of persons who makes ample bi-yearly donations.

I hope this answers your questions.

 
At 11:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

" I have also told them to take me off their list of persons who makes ample bi-yearly donations. "

That's so cool Barb. Since the money from a self-hating Ezevel like you is forbidden to them in the first place anyway.

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

kvetch,

I hope now that you can say your prayers have truly been answered.

 
At 11:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Barber,
You are one wicked loser.
I am not what they call frum myself.I have followed your comments on these blogs for a while, and let me tell you, you are so sanctimonious and full of self- serving crap that it is pathetic. WHAT YOU DO ON THE SABBATH IS BETWEEN YOU AND GOD. No one else cares shit.
Stop whining like the old sick women you are and get lost already. You are going on all of our collective nerves.

 
At 11:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

taking any jew away from the torah is a chillel hashem if you like them or not. the money is a different matter but not reading the tanya is no good.

you need to take a hard look at your words towards this fellow jew.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Margaritagirrl said...
Barbara said,
"Another change I have made. I used to receive each and every day from Chabbad the Tanya, Daily Reflections and Mitzvah of the day. As of this last Wednesday, I have had them remove me from their email lists. I have also told them to take me off their list of persons who makes ample bi-yearly donations."
AND THIS MAKES YOU A BETTER JEW?? BY RUNNING AWAY FROM RELIGION AT THE FIRST SIGN OF DISCOMFORT???
GET REAL - IT'S JUST THE OPPOSITE - NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER HOW PEOPLE MISUNDERSTAND US - WE-WILL-NOT-WAIVER-FROM-OUR-BELIEF-AND-CREDO- OBEY THE RULES, HELP THOSE IN NEED,
SO YOU ARE STOPPING TO DONATE TO THE LESS FORTUNATE, BECAUSE OF A PERSONAL GRIPE??? HOW NICE OF YOU TO WITHOLD FROM THE NEEDY! ARE THEY RESPONSIBILE?

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

Barb: you are like an old sick dog. no matter how much you are mistreated you still keep coming back for more abuse. you need help. why dont you really tell all of us whats spinning in your head. i can guess. are you ready.
YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT NOT BEING A BETTER JEW. WHAT DO I MEAN? DEEO DOWN INSIDE YOU WANT TOKEEP SHABBOS, YOU WANT TO GIVE CHARITY. BUT YOU WANT IT ON YOUR TERMS. SO WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU TRY TO HANG OUT WITH US. ON A PLAYING FIELD YOU CANT UNDERSTAND. OSMOSIS DONT WORK HERE. YIDDISHKITE IS NOT A SPECTATOR SPORT. YOU NEED TO PUT ON YOUR REEBOKS. AND TRY TO GET THE BALL. NOW ITS YOUR CHOICE, YOU EITHER TRULY STOP SAYING YOU WILL GO AWAY AND KEEP COMING BACK OR START TRYING TO BE MORE OBSERVANT AND SEE WHAT MOSER NEFESH IS OR GET LOST.
AND IF YOU AS A WOMAN WANT A GOOD FRUM BLOG, TUNE IN TO THE FRUMLESBIANS.BLOGSPOT.COM IM SURE YOU MIGHT LIKE IT BETTER. IT MORE LIBERAL.

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

BARB I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, YOU ALREADY WERE THERE AND JUDGING BY THE COMMENTS YOU LEFT YOU APPROVE OF IT, FIGURES. ONE QUESTION, WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS INCESSANT NEED TO DECLARE THAT YOU ARE "NOT FRUM BUT OBSERVANT" ALL THE FREAKIN TIME.NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

oyveyizmeernisht,
I saw About Schmidt, I loved it, and certainly did learn from it.
One thing. Our blogs are not full of negative notes.
But we ARE human, and every human being has questions. and sometimes doubts. and sometimes deep unhappiness. And you know what, oyvey?? So does every single body. But they don't write it down, maybe they can't express it or share it; and we do. it helps.
WE HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF POSITIVITY GOING ON IN OUR LIVES. EACH DAY BRINGS SOMETHING NEW TO LOOK FORWARD TO, AND EVERY NIGHT, IF THINGS LOOK BAD, WE ALWAYS KNOW THAT HASHEM CAN CHANGE OUR NEGATIVE OUTLOOK INTO A BEAUTIFUL POSITIVE.

 
At 1:05 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

JSIRPICO: YOU FORGOT TO MENTION THEKVETCHER IN YOUR LAST RANT. YOU BETTER INVITE ME OVER FOR PURIM THIS YEAR TO MAKE UP FOR IT.

 
At 3:13 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

ACTUALLY PURIM IS THE ONE DAY I DONT DRINK. SO IT PROBABLY WONT BE FUN. HOW ABOUT ST PATTY'S DAY?

MG DO YOU DRINK MARGARITAS ON PURIM? NOW THATS A TOPIC FOR A POST "WHAT DO YOU DRINK AND WHEN"
I BET B FROM C DRINKS WHISKY SOURS.

CYNIC; WHATS YOUR POISON?

 
At 9:32 PM, Blogger My Boro Park said...

What about the singles waiting to be married. Peple collect $$$$$$ for hachnasa kala but do nothing for singles

 
At 10:06 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

still searching you need to try harder and pray more. i know been there done it all.

 
At 8:42 AM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

you see its the peace loving liberals from california who ruin it all for everyone else. it was all fine till b from c showed up. i rest my case.

 
At 9:19 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Kiki said...
MG - your ideas for posts are excellent adn always provoke much discussion. I would love to partake, but ......
KIKI - I STARTED THIS BLOG TO DISCUSS, INFORM AND LEARN FROM READERS. THE THINGS THAT I POSTED FROM DAY ONE, WERE SENSITIVE TOPICS, PERSONAL TOPICS, AND IN DOING THE BLOG, I REVEALED MY FEELINGS AND EXPERIENCES IN LIFE, THAT CAME STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART. I WAS HAPPLILY SURPRISED TO FIND THAT SO MANY OTHERS HAVE SIMILAR SITUATIONS, AND MY THOUGHT WAS THAT WE WOULD SHARE, COMPARE, COMMISERATE, AND LEARN FROM EACH OTHER. OF COURSE, I ALSO TRIED TO INJECT SOME HUMOR - WE CAN ALL NEED A GOOD LAUGH NOW AND THEN (MOSTLY NOW)
I HAD NO IDEA THAT THERE WAS GOING TO BE ANY BASHING, IT DIDN'T EVEN OCCUR TO ME.
OF COURSE I ASSUMED THAT PEOPLE WILL POST THEIR OWN OPINIONS AND THAT MANY WILL VARY FROM MINE. I DID THINK HOWEVER, THAT IT WOULD BE DONE IN A COURTEOUS WAY, AND THAT IDEAS AMD OPINIONS WOULD BE SHARED CONSTRUCTIVELY SO THAT WE CAN ALL SEE HOW OTHERS THINK, THEREBY UNDERSTANDING MORE AND JUDGING LESS.
IT DOES BOTHER ME THAT YOU (AND MAYBE OTHERS) FIND THAT THIS IS AN UNCOMFORTABLE PLACE TO BE.
I'VE JUST RE-READ EVERY SINGLE PIECE THAT I'VE WRITTEN, AND I'M PROUD OF THE ISSUES THAT I'VE BROUGHT UP, AND IN THE WAY THAT I'VE DONE SO.
I GIVE THIS BLOG MY DEEPEST FEELINGS - I CAN'T CONTROL THE FEEDBACK.
READING WHAT YOU'VE WRITTEN, KIKI, IS MAKING ME THINK.
PERHAPS I SHOULD FIND ANOTHER OUTLET. I'M TRULY DISAPPOINTED TO HEAR THIS.
DOES EVERYONE FEEL THIS WAY?
SHOULD I QUIT BLOGGING?
WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE THAT PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING MY BLOG FOR THEIR DART GAMES?
SHOULD I DO WHAT KILLABENDEL SUGGESTS? DIVORCE THIS BLOG AND LOOK FOR ANOTHER MARRIAGE?
(WHICH BY THE WAY, KILLABENDEL, IS A JAB AT ME, AND HURT ME, THE BLASE WAY OF SAYING "well, MG knows how to deal with that, get a divorce, start all over.......just because I've done that in real life. Is that what you're trying to say in a veiled way?

SO - THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN MY SWAN SONG......... MY LAST POST.
GEEZ........AND I THOUGHT YOU ALL LIKED ME.
OK. I'M A BIG GIRL NOW. I'M LEAVING THE BLOGGING WORLD FOR SOME SMARTER, MORE GIFTED FOLKS...........

 
At 6:54 PM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

MG and Kvecher,
You both got to be kidding?
You know you 2 did nothing wrong, so why are you giving into terror.
Have some balls!
Are you two really that fragile that a dimwit old hater can bring you down?
Keep on bloging, keep on spreading your warmth and light for those that are capable of feeling and seeing.

 
At 7:11 PM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

TO KIKI, JUDA, NJ, AND ALL THE OTHERS WHO ONLY KNOW HALF THE STORY.

THIS IS HOW IT ALL STARTED ON SHLOMY GLICKS BLOG.

READ FOR YOURSELF AND DECIDE; WHO WAS BEING JUDGMENTAL, UNFORGIVING, AND BIGOTED FROM THE GET-GO?

WHO WAS QUESTIONING AND DEMEANING WHOSE WAY OF LIFE?

SO, SHE WASN'T TREATED WITH KID GLOVES, WHO IS?

MOST OF US THOUGH ARE HEALTHY, STABLE, MATURE INDIVIDUALS WHO CAN HANDLE A FRIENDLY LITTLE JAB IN THE ASS.

B FROM C HOWEVER, HAD NO BALLS AND NO SHAME TO ADMIT IT.

INSTEAD, SHE DEDICATED A POST TO RANTING AND VENTING ABOUT "THE BAD BOYS OF B.P."

AND NOW YOU KVECHER AND MG ARE APOLOGETIC ABOUT IT????????????????????????




Barbara from California said...
It is clearly cheating.

But I have a bigger question to ask you. This is not about you, but you raise some questions to which I would like some answers, please.

First of all, thank you for visiting my blog. I am not Orthodox, but an observant Jew.

From everything I am reading on these blogs of Jews who claim to be frum, I am rather shocked and suprised when it comes to questions of morality as it realtes to good thinking and behavior. As I gloss over these blogs, I read about men and women who are married, but committ adultry, sexual abuse, cheating, stealing, etc. I am beginning to wonder about the character of my own people who claim to be so much holier. Are they? What good is it if you study the fine points of the Torah, but neglect the ones that are important to us as honest, upright, and moral human beings?

If you can answer this question, I am most grateful. We are too few left in the world to continue feeling alienated from one another.

Thank you so much.

6/16/2005 11:36 AM


thekvetcher said...
BARBIE its like this, if one masturbates which is wrong and uses the right hand all the time and one day they decide to use the left they feel more guilty about cheating on the right hand than actually masturbating. dont try to understand it it just is the way it is. you just have to do whats good for you.

6/16/2005 11:47 AM


chayala said...
I think that while blogging and commenting in and of themselves are NOT cheating, it could most certainly LEAD to cheating. Same thing as chatting. And there is no crime in writing up your life online, it's your prerogative...as long as NOBODY knows who you are...and in this small world, where if we spent enough time schmoozing, we'd come up with 40 common cousins, it is not always a good idea to share such minute details of our intimate lives.

As far as blogging during work, I personally take 2 minute breaks from time to time, much as I would eat a snack or lunch, and blog as I break.

6/16/2005 11:51 AM


Barbara from California said...
Somehow, defining what is good for you in terms of immoral conduct seems rather surprising to me, coming from the frum.

Let me say, that in reading all of your blogs, there is more information of sexual conduct, cheating, and aspects of this type of behavior than anywhere else in blogsville. So what does this say? Extremisism breeds horny men (and women)? How do you reconcile this with all learn, and teach your children?

I love my people, dispite what they do. There are only about 13 million of us left worldwide! But these blogs have created a big question mark in my mind.

6/16/2005 11:54 AM


thekvetcher said...
BARBIE you are not listening. dont go down this road. you will only be disappointed.

6/16/2005 11:58 AM


thekvetcher said...
CHAYALA 2 minute snack breaks thats why your an 8

6/16/2005 11:59 AM


Barbara from California said...
kevtcher,

First of all, my name is not BARBIE, but Barbara.

And going down this road is a place where all of your blogs have taken me.

I am sorry to shemy for bring this up on your blog, but this is where I was led.

6/16/2005 12:02 PM


Shlomy said...
Barbie, it's SHLOMY and not shemy :)
in any case the answer in one word is this, of course you will hear and read about a few stories of people who cheat, and for some bloggers that is the main reason to blog, to expose these few stories but it's relatively minor

6/16/2005 12:07 PM


thekvetcher said...
i thought you were malibu barbie, sorry

6/16/2005 12:08 PM


Barbara from California said...
Thank you Shlomy, says Barbie.

But if you look at so many of the comments on the blogs, there appears to be a common thread about cheating and immoral conduct that emerges more often than not.

6/16/2005 12:09 PM


Shlomy said...
No! I didn't want to mention it, but MOST of it is 100 total fabrication!!
some blogs are written by people who have gone off the Orthodox way and are trying to GET back at them by posting lies.

6/16/2005 12:11 PM


thekvetcher said...
MRS. BARBRA you need not take everything at face value. most of this is made up poppycock. some is true but you need to define you're owm parameters and live by them not someone elses.

6/16/2005 12:11 PM


Shlomy said...
The simple fact is that 95% of Orthodox Jews try very hard to be true torah jews and lead a moral lifestyle and they suceed

6/16/2005 12:12 PM


Barbara from California said...
Both you and kevtcher seem to agree on this point, to some extent.

I understand the desire to release on the internet, but the issue became, as I was reading all of your blogs, why are you turning your backs on the very principles of the ten commandments? Is this the impact you want to have on our people?

Not being frum, I do not live by the rules of many of you, in terms of dress, prayer and manner of living. But yesterday was my 25th wedding anniversary, and I can say that I live a good life, and have raised my children with good Jewish values about how to think AND live.

6/16/2005


5:33 PM

 
At 8:07 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Hoezen,

If you want to quote, please show the entire conversation from its inception. Here it starts:
I do not pretend to be innocent, but you, kvetch, and others maintain that it is all my fault. I come, ask questions, and here is what is said. Please note the times:

Here are some of the other unedited comments, since you want to hurl stones. At least be accurate in your descriptions:

thekvetcher said...
BARB GO HUG A TREE OR BETTER YET A GAY LESBIAN NEGRO IN A WHEEL CHAIR THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY

6/17/2005 11:15 AM


thekvetcher said...
YOU KNOW GUYS I BET BARB WOULD RATHER SIT IN KABBALLAH SYNAGOGUE WITH MADDONA AND BRITTNY THAN A BUNCH OF ORTHOS SUCH AS OUR SELVES.

6/17/2005 11:21 AM


cynic said...
kvetch
she rattled you cage
i enjoy her muusar schmozzzzen
reminds me of yeshiva

6/17/2005 11:30 AM


thekvetcher said...
I DIDNT GO TO THEM IT DIDNT PAY I WAS BUSY IN THE KITCHEN

6/17/2005 11:35 AM


cynic said...
u fresser

6/17/2005 11:40 AM


Semgirl said...
Hozen is right. Barb is just your garden vareity Jewish Anti-semite. Just go back to your UJA breakfast.

6/17/2005 11:49 AM


Barbara from California said...
The only ones hurling insults are those of you professing to be frum. You have not seen me call anyone names here. As I say, the examples you set for other Jews, and your children is not so much to be proud of from this name calling, comparsions to Madonna & Britnay (who are not Jews) and the like.

HaShem should turn his back on your bitting tounges towards another Jew.

6/17/2005 11:52 AM


Hoezentragerin said...
"i enjoy her muusar schmozzzzen
reminds me of yeshiva "

Cynic, Why, is it Shovavim yet?

6/17/2005 11:53 AM


cynic said...
and g-d opened the mouth of the

6/17/2005 11:54 AM


cynic said...
shov it is a state of mind

6/17/2005 11:56 AM


cynic said...
hoizen
wasnt chas V refering to u"and g-d opened up"

6/17/2005 11:59 AM


thekvetcher said...
MALIBU BARBIE YOU PROBABLY USE THE NEW YORK TIMES AS YOUR BIBLE, CNN AS YOUR CONFIDANT. WE KNOW ALL ABOUT LIBERAL JEWS SUCH AS YOURSELVES. YOUR THE FIRST TO SAY SHAME ON YOU WHEN A GUY IN A BLACK HAT DOES SOMETHING WRONG. YOUR THE LAST TO WANT ME TO LIVE NEXT TO YOU YOU RATHER HAVE A "SHVARTZA" AS YOUR NEIGHBOR. AND AS PER THOSE WORDS OF OFF COLOR HERES ONE FOR YOU "F--K YOU" BY DISMISSING YIDDISH WORDS LIKE GOY, SHIKTZA SHAIGETZ YOU WANT TO DESTROY THE LANGUAGE THAT WAS OURS FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION . YES I AM FULL OF HATE ESPECIALLY FOR LIBERAL COMMIE PINKOS LIKE YOU JUST GO AWAY WHY DONT YOU CHECK OUT THIS BLOG NOTSTAAM HE'S UP YOUR ALLEY.

6/17/2005 12:00 PM


Anonymous said...
thekvetcher said...
be carefull with your words you may be makeing a chillel hashem

Now you tell me, who was provoking who? These are nasty, tasteless and mean things to say to ANYONE. And if you do not feel offended by them, then you may need some counseling as well, for your own well being. I think any reasonable person would find these comments distasteful.

And remember, kvetch started today, about my son, going to Israel, making assumptions.

4:45 PM


Barbara from California said...
Thank you niobium....I will not stop blogging....I appreciate your support.

I am a lawyer by profession, and used to debating, arguing, and not speculating, but posting actual comments. What makes me sad is to see my own people being so mean.

I tried to be kind and accepting, but as you can see from these comments above, I was still being told mean and ugly words. I, for one, am of the opinion that a Jew should not turn against another Jew, but I have been provoked this morning in my post about Israel by kvetch, and consequently, the gloves are now off!

4:50 PM

If anything, you have made me feel ganged up upon from the very start. I told you I am staying away from your blogs. Now, if you want to tell the story, and include me in it, at least do so accurately for the sake of God as your witness.

 
At 8:14 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

MG,

I am truly sorry that you feel as if your blog has been a dart board for these comments. To some extent it has. But let others see how unfairly I have been treated since I came to this strange, intolerant world.

You have made me all feel more disconnected to being a Jew than ever. I feel as if I am at war with my own people, being thrown out by them.

I told you I will leave you alone, but hozen, you are not being fair in your version of the story, and I can also show more posts which are degaragotory and mean-spirited in nature.

Maybe this is God's way of telling you to be civil and decent towards your fellow Jew. You seem to be so pious, but I have never called you names, said things like go hug a tree, or go to your UJLA breakfast, or you been told that I hate Orthodox Jews, which is what you said specifically to me Hozen, without provocation at all.

Please leave me alone, and I will leave you all alone. In fact, I am ashamed to be a Jew from all this association with this lot.

B'H

 
At 8:36 PM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:53 PM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:55 PM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

Hoezentragerin said...

"If you want to quote, please show the entire conversation from its inception. Here it starts:"

YOU ARE A LAWYER, BARBRA ARE YOU NOT.

THE CONVERSATION DID NOT START HERE.

"I do not pretend to be innocent, but you, kvetch, and others maintain that it is all my fault. I come, ask questions, and here is what is said. Please note the times:"

PLEASE NOTE THE TIMES BARB.

MY CUT AND PASTE PIECE WAS FROM THE 16TH.

YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE WE'RE ORTHODOX WE'RE STUPID TOO?


"or you been told that I hate Orthodox Jews, which is what you said specifically to me Hozen, without provocation at all."

Without provocation?
I chose to cut and paste the piece that I did, to prove just that, Barbra.
The YOU opened this can of warms, you accused us orthodox Jews again and again for being fakers and cheaters.
Even when other bloogers tried to stick up for us, you choose to stick to your cynicism and criticism.
You didn't shut up even when kvecher distinctively asked you "don't go down that road."

Barbra,
I am now, because of your trashing and bashing, ashamed to be a woman.
In fact I will stop my bi-yearly donation and membership to the feminist Majority Foundation.
I will also stop baking cinnamon buns and apple pie.
Now your prayers have been answered.

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger Hoezentragerin said...

Sorry for the "nastiness" Anon.
I'm a Libra.
I can't help but stick up for the truth.
This woman is on a vendetta but she will NOT get away with it.

Kvech and Cynic are just that Kvetchers and Cynical.
They have their own style as do we all.
No need to take their remarks personal.
There not.

 
At 11:05 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

hoezy you sexy thing you , im not apologetic and im not backing down to boo hoo barbara. im tired of stupid people playing the martyr and lying. at least you cynic and myself tell the truth.
barbara you suck even more as blog than a human being. you tell hozen to show the whole story but to your followers you left a whole lotta shit out on your blog.
you still keep stirring up the dirt you are the sicko who cant let it go. i was prepared to just chill for a while but not more than six hour go by and you start again I GOT NEWS FOR YOUSE THE BITCH IS BACK. YOU BETTA WATCH YOUR PUNK ASS BABBS IM GOING TO BE ON YOU LIKE A FAT TICK ON A LAZY DOG.

 
At 12:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had someone check out Heshy's place (964 E 3RD ST) this past shabas. He just reported back to me that its all true. About 70 people per meal, being a most diverse crowd; executives, intellectuals and average working stiffs. Heshy feeds them like in a restaurant ie salmon steak etc. I don't know where he gets the money from, but somehow he spends serious money on his guests. Also, Im told that he lives in a real mansion and that the hummer is there parked right outside. Im tempted to check this out for myself.

 
At 9:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So you can live with someone, share a bed, plan your childrens future and yet... the champaigne, the rain, the dreams... left to oneself. Open up, give it a chance. Talk, really talk, not about schedules, not about work and money, not about supper or running low on toilet paper. Talk about your dreams, your likes, dislikes, share secrets... who knows, your grass may be greener than you think.
mlj - dogs in the yard

 

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