Wednesday, July 27, 2005

A GOOD WORD CAN MEAN SO MUCH...


I was in New York the other day and rode with a friend in a taxi. When we got out, my friend said to the driver,
“Thank you for the ride. You did a superb job of driving” The taxi driver was stunned for a second, then he said. “Are you a wise guy or something?”

“No, my dear man, and I’m not putting you on. I admire the way you keep your cool in heavy traffic.”

“Yeh,” the driver said and drove off.

“What was that all about?” I asked.

“I am trying to bring love back to New York,” he said.
“I believe it’s the only thing that can save the city.”

“How can one man save New York?"

“It’s not one man. I believe I have made the taxi driver’s day. Suppose he has twenty fares. He’s going to be nice to those twenty fares because someone was nice to him. Those fares in turn will be kinder to their employees, or shop-keepers, or waiters, or even their own families. Eventually the goodwill could spread to at least 1,000 people. Now that isn’t bad, is it?”

“But you’re depending on that taxi driver to pass your good will to others.”

“I’m not depending on it, “ my friend said, “
I’m aware that the system isn’t foolproof, so I might deal with ten different people today. If, out of ten, I can make three happy, then eventually I can indirectly influence the attitudes of 3,000 more.”

“It sounds good on paper,” I admitted,
“but I’m not sure it works in practice.”

Nothing is lost if it doesn’t. It didn’t take any of my time to tell that man that he was doing a good job. He neither received a larger tip nor a smaller tip. If it fell on deaf ears, so what? Tomorrow there will be another taxi driver whom I can try to make happy.”

“You’re some kind of a nut, “
I said.

“That shows how cynical you have become………”

We were walking past a structure in the process of being built and passed five workmen eating their lunch. My friend stopped.
“That’s a magnificent job you men have done. It must be difficult and dangerous work.” The five men eyed my friend suspiciously.
“When will it be finished?”
“June,”
a man grunted.

“Ah, that really is impressive. You must all be very proud.”

We walked away. I said to him, “I haven’t seen anyone like you since ‘The Man of La Mancha.’”

“When those men digest my words, they will feel better for it. Somehow the city will benefit from their happiness.”

“But you can’t do this alone,”
I protested. “You’re just one man.”

“The most important thing is not to get discouraged. Making people in the city become kind again is not an easy job, but if I can enlist other people in my campaign….”

“You just winked at a very plain looking woman,” I said.

“Yes, I know,” he replied, “And if she’s a schoolteacher, her class will be in for a fantastic day.”

Imagine what life would be like if this campaign of goodwill would succeed.

HERE IS ANOTHER EXCHANGE, WHICH IS SUCH A WAKE UP CALL TO ALL OF US; At a funeral service, everyone left the cemetery except for the mourning husband and the rabbi. The husband remained at the grave for a long while; finally the rabbi approached him. “The service is long over, it is time for you to leave,” he said.
The man waved him away.
“You don’t understand. I loved my wife.”
“I am sure you did,”
the rabbi answered,
“but you have been here a very long time. You should go now.”
Again, the husband said,
“You don’t understand. I loved my wife.”
Once again, the rabbi urged him to leave.
“But you don’t understand,” the man told him,
“I loved my wife-----and once, I almost told her.”
Can you imagine the sense of shame if you have to stand at a grave and bid farewell, and realize then what you didn’t say when you could have, when you should have, when there was still time?
(from the book “Words that hurt, words that heal, by Joseph Telushkin)

We are now in the 3 weeks. Soon it will be Tisha B’Av. We will fast, we will try to repent for the sins that led to the destruction of the Bais Hamikdosh, because of ill will---Because people were not kind to one another.
The classic story of Kamtzu and Bar Kamtzu tells it all.


Can we, perhaps, start the repair with one sentence at a time? Say thank you to the toll booth attendant. Compliment your neighbor on his tidy lawn. Remark to the salesclerk that she looks like she lost some weight and how nice she looks. Tell the teller in the bank how efficient she is, and that it is a pleasure to do business with her.
Can we do it??

36 Comments:

At 12:55 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Thank you, normaljew.......
I really believe strongly in this. My mother always says, "A good word doesn't cost any money to give, and makes the other person feel like a million dollars!"

 
At 12:56 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

YOU WANT TO BRING BACK LOVE TO NEW YORK? START SLEEPING WITH EVERYONE YOU MEET.

 
At 1:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

K KOMMUNIST
/
M MIZRACHIST
Z ZIONIST
A AGUDIST

WHERES THE LOVE HERE?

 
At 1:14 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

thekvetcher said...
"YOU WANT TO BRING BACK LOVE TO NEW YORK? START SLEEPING WITH EVERYONE YOU MEET."

Hmmmm.....an interesting thought. Let me "sleep" on it.

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

jsirpicco,
A very good idea. I'll check that site.

ABOUT AMUKA - I was there one month before I met my husband...so what does that say, hmmm?
(I guess the promise is to MEET someone, but no guarantee that happiness comes along with it)

 
At 1:22 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

JSIRP. HOWS THE KADDISH GOING?

 
At 1:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

as i told that clown the other day its knowing what and how to write that counts.
you can make gin and tonic with gordons or you can make it with bombay saphire

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

ouschusid said...
"as i told that clown the other day its knowing what and how to write that counts.
you can make gin and tonic with gordons or you can make it with bombay saphire"

AND I, OF COURSE, ALWAYS MAKE MY GIN & TONICS WITH BOMBAY SAPPHIRE..AND I TRY TO POST THE SAME WAY....GOOD QUALITY, NOT NECESSARILY QUANTITY.

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Yiddishe Mamme said,
"then I said "you're a very patient man". I'm sure that even in the smallest way, I broke up the monotony of his long wait and made it a little more bearable. He in return told me what a beautiful baby I have! "

PERFECT EXAMPLE!! DOESN'T IT FEEL GREAT?

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger Dan Eisenberg said...

did u ever see the movie Pay it Forward Simalir concept to your idea. The movie starts off slowly, gets good, but the ending leaves alot to be desired. I also was somewhat callous towards cabbies ( not mea, just pareve) until I started treating them as patients and I saw them as "real people" with families. Now I try to give an extra dollar tip in addition to pleasant conversation. Good luck MG

 
At 5:55 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

DOUBLESIDEDDILDO says,
"THESE ARE THE WORDS MG IS TALKING ABOUT ARE'NT THEY"

Ummmmm....I was really thinking along different lines.........

 
At 5:59 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

FoncusedYid says,
"Margarita: In the spirit of your nice blog, i went out last night and as usual my hooker started negotiaing the price, i said: Bubbles my dear tonight youre getting an extra 20 just to make the world a better place and she was very happy. Its all the little things that help i totally agree!!!"

GEEZ......I'M SO GLAD YOU GOT MY POINT AND FOLLOWED THROUGH - WHAT A GUY.....

 
At 8:13 PM, Blogger Karl said...

Great inspiration - thanks MG.
The only problem is putting it into practice.

 
At 8:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

THE STARFISH POEM

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day he was walking along
the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer.

He smiled to himself to think
of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"

The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish in the ocean."

"I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?"

"The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."

"But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely.
Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said-"It made a difference for that one."

Author Unknown

 
At 8:55 PM, Blogger CJ Srullowitz said...

Beautiful!

There is a great story of a baal mussar who stood in front of the mirror practicing his smile, because his natural countenance carried a scowl.

"Havei mekabel es kol adam beseiver panim yafos." --Avos

 
At 11:12 PM, Blogger Anonymous said...

Sounds like the guy that was yelling on the train non-stop. "Spread the Love, Spread the love in teh city of hate"

 
At 9:04 AM, Blogger SemGirl said...

MG, despite what some of the jerks here say, you are absolutely right.

This is your best blog yet..

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Thanks Semgirl,

 
At 2:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

IS BROOKLYN JEWISH GUY THE SAME AS NORMAL JEW?

 
At 7:38 PM, Blogger LostSpirit said...

Very very nice post and good point, I guess that the saying of “a word for a cent, two cent for silence” is not always true.And yes sure we can do it, and as they say charity starts at home, by being nice to our spouses and kids we can start this snow ball affect and have much impact to the positive.

P.S.
I must say I was wondering what where you doing stepping out of a cab with a guy? And even more so with one who is in to dispensing free love?!

 
At 8:46 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

What an excellent and beautiful post MG.

And you hit the nail on the head. A kind word, a small gesture, and a good heart can and do make all the differnce in the world.

Be well.

 
At 10:26 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Ghetto says,
MG, if you take kvetchers advice I'll move to NY ;) lol

NOW, I'LL REALLY HAVE TO SLEEP ON IT.....

 
At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

MG now she is accusing the frum jews of hitting nails on the head. when is her madness going to stop.

 
At 6:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

New york is a dreck place. eveyone curses and is jealous and even in the frum community. no one stops to say good shabbes. everyone is suspicious of everyone else vaad mishmeres and other dreck. thank god i left this cesspool a year ago i am never coming back again. there is hatred and mean spiritedness all around.

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger Pragmatician said...

Here’s a story to complement your point.
About a Rabbi who acted as Mashgiach in a certain factory.
One day the guard saw his employer leaving and closing the factory for the day.
The guard told him that the Rabbi was still inside.
The employer argued that this wasn't possible since everybody had left already.
The guard insisted and they went to search for the Rabbi.
They found him inside the huge fridge unable to get out from inside. Had they not found him he would have died from the cold.
Now both were wondering how come the guard was so sure the Rabbi hadn't left, people were going in and out the whole time?
He answered that the Rabbi always greeted him when coming in and when leaving, and this time he couldn’t recall the Rabbi saying goodbye...

 
At 4:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice post. I always try to go out of my way to be nice to people. I don't know if it rubs off or if people even notice, but I thnk I do it for selfish reasons anyway. it makes me feel better about myself./

 
At 5:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

why does every tom dick and harry have to say "NICE POST" VERY THouGHT PROVOKING. are your minds so simple that that is all you can say.

 
At 5:57 PM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Pragmatician,
That is such a wonderful story.....and look how it saved his life! Being nice to people aLways pays off...Because YOU KNOW that you're doing the right thing, the kind thing. Thanks for the comment.

Anonymous.

Your comment that others leave simple comments saying "NICE POST" and wondering if that's all they can say, makes ME wonder; IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY??

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

its obvious that the anon is a thinker on a higher level and needs more Intellectual stimulation.

MG. have you given more thought about sleeping with everyone you meet. or at least give them a MARGARITA.
im sure that will friendly all those disgruntaled cab drivers.

 
At 10:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon:

Anyone who actually stopped to read and UNDERSTAND the otiginal post wouild realize that its WHOLE FEAKING POINT was that a good word goes along way. There's a concept in Judaism of Hakoras hatov - saying thank you, complimenting someone.

Of course, I don't understand anything I just wrote for I am but a simple mind after all

 
At 12:14 PM, Blogger thekvetcher said...

NORMAL THE ONLY THING THAT IS MORE ANNOYING THAN ANON COMMENTORS IS YOUR TYPOS.

LOL, I SAW THE CORRECTIONS

 
At 3:57 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 4:57 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

You are completely right, MG.
Even when faced with harsh, judging words, a good word is the best medicine for our own souls.
Those who choose to be negative will have their own internal sufferings upon which to deal.

Good Shabbos

 
At 10:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Imagine what life would be like if this campaign of goodwill would succeed.

There is its called pay it foward

 
At 10:39 AM, Blogger Margaritagirrl said...

Anonymous said...
Imagine what life would be like if this campaign of goodwill would succeed.

its called pay it foward.

EXACTLY! AND WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT IF IT COULD SUCCEED OUTSIDE OF THE MOVIES ........ALTHOUGH SOME PEOPLE REALLY DO PRACTICE THIS CAMPAIGN OF GOODWILL TOWARD OTHERS.

 
At 8:10 PM, Blogger brianna said...

Very inspiring.
Very powerful.
Even this post will have its own ripple effects.

 

<< Home